physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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