She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
