two words: eviction party
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
