My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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