grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
