oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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