Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
