I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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