Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
My ATM looks so different sober.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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