garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
this hospital has no fireball
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
