i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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