We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
