Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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