Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
