I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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