respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
