how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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