He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
