So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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