You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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