Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
as a side note pls kill me
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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