just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I want to be your penis for a week.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
