Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
