this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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