I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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