2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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