one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I want her autograph on my taint
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
