You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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