i need an iv and a liver transplant
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
