roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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