I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She told me I should be a condom model.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
My breasts were aching with rage.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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