Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
