I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
