i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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