just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
