I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
