Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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