Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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