i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Come share oat with me in your robe
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
