pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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