Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
false alarm. still invincible.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
