at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
