dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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