this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
