I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
