one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
