my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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