no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
