She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
