Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
